grandpas letter

I got an email from my mom that was originally sent by my Uncle Jerry. It was a letter that he had transcribed from my grandpas handwritings. It made me really miss him, and how much life he had in him. He was also the kindest, gentlest person I had ever known in my life. It made me also realize how much I will miss my grandma when she is gone. She is my only remaining grandparent, and after she is gone, my last remaining link to a world I only wish I could know will be no more. I always loved to hear the stories related by my grandparents and and great grandparents. Even though they led more physically difficult lives, and had to deal with things like the great depression, 2 world wars, I think that they were happier people than the average American today. They had a greater capacity to appreciate the things they DID have, and not fret about the little things that couldn't truly make you happy. I wish Grandma Green was still here, I would love to hear her tell stories of her life growning up in a barely tamed country. Hell, even grandpa Pettit. Hard nosed and obstinante, I loved to hear him talk. His memories of WWII were amazing.

the knowledge and information that is contained with in one person is an invaluable treasure that you have to try and find out as much as possible when that person is alive. Once they are gone, you will never know what stories, tales, and grand adventures that they had, and what inspiration and vision you might be able to get from them.

"When my father died we put him in the ground When my father died it was like a whole library Had burned down." --Laurie Anderson World without End

a moment of clarity

I just went on a bike ride around the pond in the complex tonight. I increased it by one lap, and it still took me less than my desired 30 minutes. I'll go 5 laps for a couple of days and then increase to six by weeks end.
Ok, when I came back and sat at my computer on gay.com, I saw a friend and said hi. He didn't immediately reply. I started getting nervous. then I said something along the lines of " sure, don't say hi, greasy <\female part of the anatomy>". I was joking, as that is how I am with this friend. then I started to worry about if he took it wrong. and even though he drives me insane some days, i worried that I might have offended him. Am I so desperate to be cared about by people that I will do anything to be needed and wanted? I love my friends tony and charlie to death, and I always worry that i will piss them off somehow, then I get to the point that I am annoying and I start to drive people off because they just don't want to be around me anymore. The story of my fucking life. Why can't I just find the balance, and say "fuck it" the rest of the time? I have a hard time finding balance in all aspects of my life. then I reread what I just wrote, and I look damned neurotic. Agh. gonna scream. boy, im messed up.

I LOVE Battlestar Galactica !!

So I sat up till 11:00 pm to watch Battlestar Galactica, and was not disappointed in the least.
Let me first say that I did enjoy watching the entire Sci-Fi friday, however, my ultimate goal was to see BSG. I don't care that Starbuck is a woman. I rather like it. I may be a big homo, but a woman who can hold her own against a bunch of men has always turned me on. I don't care that the Cylons aren't an alien race of lizards. I love the way that Edward James Olmos plays Adama.
These differences from the original are what make this show unique. Why the hell would you want a carbon copy of the original? What separates this show from the rest of network Television and the rest of the Sci-fi line up is the fact that it's dark. The entire human race has just been wiped out. Of course it's dark. Col. Tigh is an uptight alcholic. LOVE HIM!! Apollo and his dad don't see eye to eye. Nice to see somethings don't change over the centuries. Ok, so pardon me while I digress for a moment.......Episode 103, "Bastille Day", Tom Zarak (a gracefully aged Richard Hatch) explains Apollo the origins of his call sign, referring to the ancient gods of Kobol (aka Earth). Ok, so a legend has survived in humanity, in exact detail for 100's of years, but THEY LOST EARTH? WTF? What happened? Did they forget where they parked? everybody left earth for the evening and it got stolen? Forgot the star chart? I guess I just don't get that one. But all in all, it's a great series, and I hope the writing stays good and it just gets better and better.

friday blahs

So, it's friday. it's 3:15. it's boring. I just want this effing week to be over.
I have been thinking about this blog, and what I should write in it. I get those days where I hear something that just sets me off. I have very few things that I get passionate about, however, there are times that I just can't contain myself. Other days, I just feel like I need to express the frustration, the joys, the anger, the whatever. so,
maybe it will be a wildly emotional roller coaster, maybe a soap box, maybe a rant and rave session.
who the fuck knows. who cares. anway, work is something I should really act like I am doing right now.

well, what to really say

Well, I guess i don't know why I opened a blog account. Maybe to rant, rave, whatever.
I heard that writing things that you are feeling can help you deal with things and clear your
mind. Maybe I needed a creative outlet. I don't really expect anyone to read this, or comment on it, but I don't really care about that aspect. Its for me, me alone. I'll think more on this and mess with the layout when I get home tonight. I guess work isn't really the place for this.